A TALE OF TWO KITTIES
Melissa,
inimitable lesbian
of the first order,
Calls to her Calico from a second story window:
“Sappho, Dear
Sappho,” she cries.
“Sappho, my lovely,”
she sighs.
Sappho
(known to have slept
with every Tom on
the block)
Crawls slowly from the alley
on wobbly cat paws.
She awkwardly scales the four foot fence
and feebly meows, I
believe,
regarding the
nocturnal past tense.
Meanwhile,
in the building next
door,
Lithe, blond-haired Billy
cuddles Oscar the
Persian
who only dreams of
sweet amorous
excursions
beyond the front
door.
Becoming increasingly bored
with the nightly
perversions
of Billy and
friends,
Oscar plans his escape
with visions of
sweet copious gyrations;
oh, carnal relations
with she-felines
galore.
Sappho,
having indulged
sweet Melissa
the entire day long,
Creeps toward the window
toward the succulent
song
of the sinewey
sleeze
of Alley Cat Toms.
Oscar,
sidestepping Billy
and
the same old sight
of
the lithe, blond-haired
bottom
being entered (a la Sodom),
Noses the screen door and
bounds down the
steps
sniffing the air for
primordial scents.
Sappho and Oscar
to the alley they
go…
Oh, Sappho,
Oh, Oscar,
meow
meow
Closer they come
in sensuous heat,
Faster they move
their little cat
feet.
Oh, what joy
when finally they
meet.
Sappho and Oscar
Oh, how lovely, how
sweet.
Weeks pass by
then
Melissa,
distraught after
cuddling dear Sappho,
Buzzes my door:
“She’s pregnant!”
the cry,
holding Sappho aloft
pointing directly to
signs
dear kitty’s been
got.
“I just never
thought it would happen this way,”
Melissa blurts out,
wiping a tear away.
Then,
lithe, blond-haired
Billy
knocks on my door.
With Oscar in hand.
He paces the floor
and decries the fact
Oscar’s privates are
sore
from sticking it to…
“Some Calico whore!”
Oh,
two and two still
make four.
Melissa and Billy
realize the score.
Their darlings have coupled
in a hetero way.
Oh, what a curse
when your kitties
aren’t gay.
So,
Melissa builds a box
for the imminent
births.
Billy knits sweaters
for little kitty
girths.
Sappho feels sick,
immobile she is.
Oscar feels pain
when he tries to
whiz.
You see,
he got fixed;
a neuter
he is…
No more
carousing.
No more
jizz.
Finally,
the day arrives
with Melissa, Billy
and me beside
Watching dear Sappho
deliver her pride.
Oscar,
upon the bookshelf,
attentively sighs.
Weeks pass away and
the kitties grow
fat.
Melissa silkscreens:
FREE – NICE CATS!
She then adds a line
to assure a good
home:
ONLY LESBIANS AND GAY MEN
NEED BOTHER TO PHONE!
Soon all are taken
and Melissa decides
Sappho must have
her little tubes
tied.
To the Vet they proceed
where Sappho is
fixed.
Further pregnancy, my dears,
is everlastingly
nixed.
So,
Sappho and Oscar
grow lazy and fat.
Indifferent they are
even to rats.
Oh, what a fate
besmirches their
days;
What a dear price to pay
For a simple roll in
the hay.
A lesson there is
in this tale of woe,
All of you kitties
should certainly
know:
If those who feed you
are preponderantly
gay,
Discretion’s a must
when together you
lay.
So,
practice the rhythm
the Pope say is
great;
Just pull it right out
DON’T PROCREATE!
‘Cause neuter might be
your miserable fate
if you’ve jutted the
jizz
or your period’s
late!
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